Loving and Letting Go

Attachment, love, and loss in foster care

Mar 11, 2025

Sometimes we hug our kids, never knowing if it is going to be for the last time.

For one year, my husband and I along with our two daughters, lived on a campus community with teens in foster care. Every other week, we spent Monday to Monday in a huge cottage with several teenage girls. We were usually there when they moved in, some of them experiencing another move on top of the dozens they had before this stay.

Some teens were younger, and some were older but younger mentally and developmentally. All of them were beautiful, precious souls with whom we ate dinner, drove to doctor’s appointments, and said goodnight when the sun went down on another busy day.

Sabrina was a teenager that lived in the cottage for six months, and I was afraid she was going to leave me. I would whine in an annoying voice, “Nooo!! Don’t leave me!” and cling to her like a cat on a curtain. It was dramatic, but I had fallen in love with her spunk and couldn’t imagine her not being around anymore. She made me laugh every day, and I didn’t want to miss that.

Her caseworker called one day and told her about an aunt in Nebraska. I listened on the phone, hearing her breathe and focus and dare to imagine a different life. We both wondered if that was what came next for her because her biological parents were unable to take her in. The caseworker hung up, I hung up, and she looked at me and said in her southern accent, “Where in the world is Nebraska?”

It’s not just about the books. These women have the most powerful, encouraging stories. They are living lives that are fully surrendered to God and just being in their presence inspires us to live in grace with ourselves and others.

Kacey was involved in a shooting at Columbine High School in Colorado in 1999. Her shoulder was obliterated, and yet doctors were able to come together and save her from amputation. Today she has beautiful kids, a purpose-driven life spreading awareness surrounding tissue donation, and she has proven to herself and to her shooters that life can thrive after unspeakable tragedy.

Kacey Johnson- Author and Speaker

Christie Thomas is teaching families how to take 30 SECONDS a day to speak life into their children's routines and mundane. Her devotional is a super fun way to interact with little kids that does not give me any pressure at all. Eden and Shiloh have been loving learning about creation by acting like fish, octopus, gorillas beating their chests, and birds flapping through the air. It has been so much fun.

Christie Thomas

Victoria Riollano is a mother to many, and a beautiful example of a surrendered life. In our conversation, we get real about what to do when our kids drive us bananas, and how to pray through everything. She taught me to pray in the shower, pray in the car, pray in the middle of a fight, pray, pray, pray. I am so grateful for her wise leadership!

Victoria Riollano

These are real women, living real lives in the midst of challenges and hardships.

YOU are not alone. YOU are not expected to do it all. YOU are doing a better job than you think. (GUARANTEED!)

The Book Therapy podcast is here for you: to learn and grow, and be encouraged by women who have gone ahead and are leaving bread crumbs for you to follow.

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I love parties!

Kevin and I enjoyed the Valentine’s party on campus with our girls and the teens. We welcomed two new teenagers into the home, and they are getting settled nicely. Please pray as one has entered DSS (Department of Social Services) for the first time, and so everything about foster care is new to her. She may have to switch schools, and that might be a hard transition for her.

We also now have a big five year old! Celebrating her was SO MUCH FUN. She got a new bike, roller skates, and a fishing pole that she has been practicing with. She can’t wait for a daddy day to go fishing!